Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.~Howard Thurman
I get off track when I meander down roads that I'm "supposed" to like--especially where writing is concerned. What I like to read, what I observe, what I listen to, what movies I watch all come into play as well. This doesn't mean that I don't seek out recommendations from others about what to read or watch or listen to. It does mean that I don't try to talk myself out of liking something or noticing something that brings me joy or intrigue. When I begin thinking, "I really should like that book. The author won the prestigious award. Or my good friend really loves that book genre. Should I be reading more of that? And the classics. I should probably be reading the ones I never got around to. Or, that movie won the Academy award, but I just couldn't get into it." Time and again, what I find is that validating my own perceptions makes me a better writer.
I have a practice of placing sticky tabs in books to highlight words or quotes or scenes that I like. I recently read a memoir, and the author mentioned that she had received a book as a gift. She did not go into detail regarding how she liked the book, but it sounded interesting so I tabbed the title: Several Short Sentences About Writing by Verlyn Klinkenborg. I checked the book out of the library, and after reading the first half of the book, I had so many tabs, I decided that I'd like to have my own copy. Here are a few excerpts that I thought might be helpful to you as you follow your own creative pursuits--not only writing, but any artistic endeavor.
But everything you notice is important. Let me say that a different way: If you notice something, it’s because it’s important. But what you notice depends on what you allow yourself to notice, and that depends on what you feel authorized, permitted to notice in a world where we’re trained to disregard our perceptions.
Who’s going to give you the authority to feel that what you notice is important? It will have to be you. The authority you feel has a great deal to do with how you write, and what you write, with your ability to pay attention to the shape and meaning of your own thoughts and the value of your own perceptions.
Being a writer is an act of perpetual self-authorization. No matter who you are. Only you can authorize yourself. You do that by writing well, by constant discovery. No one else can authorize you. No one. This doesn’t happen overnight. It’s as gradual as the improvement in your writing.
Start by learning to recognize what interests you. Most people have been taught that what they notice doesn’t matter, so they never learn how to notice, not even what interests them. Or they assume that the world has been completely pre-noticed, already sifted and sorted and categorized by everyone else, by people with real authority. And so they write about pre-authorized subjects in pre-authorized language.
BLESSING FOR WHAT YOU NOTICE
Sometimes we're talked out of things. Sometimes it's the most well-meaning people who can sound so persuasive. Heap on the guilt. Cause second-guessing.
"You mean you really think you can make money with your art? Shouldn't you try something safer? I mean, you're so good at accounting. Aren't numbers more your thing?"
"You know, I used to like that, but it's not trending. May not be so good for business. You may want to re-think that."
"You mean you've never read that book? Never heard of that author? Come on. Everyone's read that. Maybe you could try to write more like her."
And on it goes.
But, down deep, you know what you like. You know you like the sound of that lyrical prose. You know you'd like to write like that. You get into the story and time stops. It's pure enjoyment. You keep going that direction. You feel alive, no matter what others say or what others are reading.
God creates so many kinds of people. He delights in giving them delights. Desires of the heart.
May you keep finding freedom in noticing what you notice. Basking in the excitement of your discoveries.
May you be brave enough to authorize yourself. The world needs you.
AMEN
Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you're going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.~Anne Lamott, Berkeley commencement address (From The Comfort Book by Matt Haig)
There are some authors that I will read without knowing what the book is about. Matt Haig is that author for me. He's been described as the "King of Empathy." His latest title, The Comfort Book, meets all my expectations. I've lifted several excerpts that I thought may comfort you as you move forward in these uncertain times.
~And yes, we might feel that others are judging our worth via metrics like income and follower counts and weight and chest measurements and all the rest of it, but always remember we are more than can be measured. We are life itself.
~For when you reach rock bottom: You have survived everything you have been through, and you will survive this too. Stay for the person you will become. You are more than a bad day, or week, or month, or year, or even decade. You are a future of multifarious possibility.
~Pizza: The sky isn't more beautiful if you have perfect skin. Music doesn't sound more interesting if you have a six-pack. Dogs aren't better company if you're famous. Pizza tastes good regardless of your job title. The best of life exists beyond the things we are encouraged to crave.
~Scroll your mind: Social media can be a gallery of lives you aren't living. Of diets you aren't following. Of parties you're not attending. Of vacations you're not on. Of fun you're not having. So, cut yourself a break and scroll your mind instead. Scroll your consciousness for reasons to be grateful to be you. The only fear of missing out that matters is the fear of missing out on yourself.
~I hope this email finds you very far away from this email.
Instead of a blessing this week (or perhaps it could be), I leave you with Matt Haig's poem:
HOW TO BE AN OCEAN
You haven't failed,
In a moment of sadness.
You haven't lost,
In a moment of defeat.
You are not a statue
Standing in an eternal contrapposto.
You are a thing in motion:
A rising tide, a cresting wave.
Your vast depths witness
Every marvel, every wonder:
You are, then, marvelous,
And wonderful. So:
Don't fight the moon.
Allow every tide.
And give all your wrecked ships
The space to hide.
...all that love we humans carry makes a sweet deep sound and we fly a little.~Joy Harjo
I didn't go to Italy after all. The messiness of COVID made it unsafe and I felt too much anxiety to travel. Giovanni and I make the best of it, each of us on opposite shores. The ocean in between is part of our history, part of our marriage. I used to loathe the distance. Over the years, though, I've come to see how that broad, blue expanse can be our pathway to intimacy.
Giovanni texted me, telling me that he'd hung a photo of us on the bedroom wall at his house in Italy. The picture was taken twenty-two years ago when we'd met again after twenty-five years. (All of that story contained in my first book, An Ocean Away).We'd both bought new shoes prior to that reunion--exact replicas without the other's knowledge. Chuck Taylors. We wore them in that photo. "Remember the shoes?" I texted back. "Yes, surely," he replied.
I thought of how our paths had crossed twice in life. How we were still seeing it through with each other, despite all the differences, the cultural divide, our own individual flaws, and the rough patches that every marriage weathers.
He said on a phone call, "I look at that picture every night before I fall asleep. It's right there in front of me." The sweetness of this statement echoed across the ocean. The sound of love speeding like light. Such a sound to behold. Like flying a little.
BLESSING FOR RECEIVING LOVE INSIDE THE MESSINESS
The world can dishearten, with its disasters and disease.
Yet there is still love to be found in the most obscure places.
In distance. In circumstances we didn't expect or want.
We look back, though, and remember the synchronicity in two pairs of shoes.
We recall the people who've miraculously crossed our pathways.
We whisper under our breath. "Oh, yes, there has been good in my life. I moved through that season by God's grace and compassion. His kindness."
"Even when people forgot me, when I've had no one, God, your mercy sustained me."
May you remember the love that's come to you. And if you cannot pull up any remembrance of love on your pathway, that's okay.
May you know now that God places His hand on your head, hangs your photo on the wall.
May you fly a little knowing you are loved by Him.
...he can think only of the word rejoice--for that is what they are doing. And for now it is enough.~Elizabeth Brundage (From The Vanishing Point)
I ticked off all the tasks I needed to do before getting the kids to bed--my arithmetic for the night. Lock all the doors, brush teeth, prayers, kiss goodnight. Then the thought hit me, like too many smelling salts. "Did I blow out the candle before I left my house, before the grandchildren and I drove to their house for the night?" I talked to myself some more. "Yes, I'm sure I did." But then I couldn't pull up the memory of bending my head over the flame, the whoosh of air leaving my lips. The wicks black and safe. "Okay kids," I said. "We've got to get out of bed and go over to my house. I'm not sure if I blew out the candle."
"You mean we have to get up and go over to your house in the night?"
"I'm afraid so. Better to be safe than sorry." They had expressions of both alarm and excitement on their faces as we headed out to the car. It was midnight. There were a few stars glimmering in the sky, and a frog chorus echoed across the pond. We felt a faint breeze on our cheeks in the humid darkness. Almost no cars on the road. The time of night reminded me of my youth when insomnia would scratch the silence and I'd take my roommate's dog out for a walk. No one around. Just the dog's nails clicking on the pavement. The street lights casting long shadows on our pathway.
I had blown out the candle. The kids giggled as we drove home, proud of their ability to tolerate the scariness of riding in the lonely darkness, proud of their confidence to wander into the unknown with their grandmother. As we entered their house, we felt giddy about our midnight escapade. They said, "Yes, it's better to be safe than sorry. It was actually kind of fun. It was an adventure, don't you think?" We felt tired and relieved, there on the front steps as I unlocked the door. The two standing on the porch in their pajamas, the three of us together.
BLESSING FOR STAYING IN THE MOMENT
These days it's easy to feel inundated with beeps and dings and vibrations. Texts alerting you to the latest news. Ads bombarding you with how to whiten teeth, get rid of belly fat or sell your house in 72 hours.
In the middle of the night you're thinking, "Maybe I should buy that. I've been wanting to lose weight. I've been wanting to be more organized. I've been wanting to learn how to invest my money. I've been wanting to eat better."
Information overload. Everyone looks so good on Instagram. Living those purposeful lives. Making money. Perfect teeth. Cute pets. The skyrocketing career. How do they do it?
May you anchor into your life. It's yours. And you're enough. Now is enough, even with all the cracks and uneven surfaces.
May you look up. Find the stars. Find the moon. Listen to the singing frogs. Look into the face of a child and rekindle your confidence to wander into your life. Take hold.
May you know that God brings you to a place of abundance each day.
May you discover it and rejoice.
AMEN
Don't be afraid. Don't waver.~II Chronicles 20:17 (The Message)
I opened the blinds at sunrise, the sky pink, the blush of carnations. Light streaming in like a shower of sequins. I wished I could feel as rinsed and fresh as that perfect sky. Yet my mind and heart felt fractured with jealous thoughts toward someone I did not even know, had not ever met. I'd been scrolling the internet and saw that a woman I'd had brief connection with via Instagram now had a book contract with a well-known publisher. She would no longer have to wade through all it took to self-publish. Instead of relishing her victory, I found myself jealous of her success, wanting what she had accomplished.
Then I found a story in II Chronicles that I'd forgotten about. King Jehoshaphat learns that a vandal horde is on its way to invade the land. First, the King calls the people together and reminds them to remember the past and all the ways God has supported them and helped them transcend multiple problems. We know that you will listen and give victory (II Chronicles 20:10). I thought about all the ways this was true for me. God providing time to write and money and artists to help me publish. And readers. If you are reading this, you are an answer to my prayer, as I've asked God for your readership. How could I not be grateful for all He has done, not only as an author, but also in my personal life?
We're helpless before this vandal horde ready to attack us. We don't know what to do. We're looking to you, said the King. I felt like this, my own jealousy like the vandal horde.
Then Jahaziel, a man amidst the congregation, stepped forward, and moved by the Spirit said, Don't be afraid, don't pay any mind to this vandal horde. This is God's war, not yours...you won't have to lift a finger in the battle, just stand firm and watch God's saving work for you take shape. Don't be afraid, don't waver. March out boldly--God is with you (II Chronicles 20:11).
Then King Jehoshaphat did something that brought me hope. The King appointed a choir for God, dressed in holy robes to march ahead of the troops. They sang, Give thanks to God. His love never quits.
As soon as God heard the shouting and praising, He set out ambushes against the enemy. The vandal horde became so confused that they began attacking each other. When the King and his troops came up over a rise they were astonished to discover a field of the barbarians, all deceased by their own hands. God had given them joyful relief from their enemies (II Chronicles 20:20).
I could do this. I could recount the blessings and provision of God. I could stand firm and surrender my jealous thoughts to God. Let it be His battle for me. I did not have to be afraid, or waver in my belief that jealousy would not overtake me. I could sing, "Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all you creatures here below. Praise Him above you heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost." I could pray for this woman. "Bless her efforts, Lord. Give her your peace, prosperity and success, favor and grace to keep writing. May more people know of your mercy through her creativity and artistry."
The sun has risen now, its rays pouring through the window, warming my face. Jealousy slain.
BLESSING FOR WHEN DARK THOUGHTS APPEAR
You know the thoughts aren't right. Often they come at the most unexpected times.
You don't want to keep the darkness in your heart. But sometimes the thoughts can masquerade as friends. Companions whispering that you have a right to feel that way. I mean, look what he did to me. Do you know how much better I am at that than they are? And they get all the praise and glory? No way.
For a time, resentment and jealousy can feel like a balm. But then it doesn't. Because it spears you. Not the other person. They're going about living their lives.
May you inch away from the negativity--just enough to stand firm where you'll have better footing, a clearer mind. Where you won't waver. Don't be afraid. March out boldly. God is with you.
May you remember all that God has done for you. May you know that you are not helpless before the vandal horde. Go way back and recount His goodness, even in the rough patches. You'll feel better after this and you'll probably have moved a mile away from the negativity instead of a few inches.
May you now begin to sing. Sing something happy and postive. It doesn't have to be a hymn. God will hear and be so pleased to hear your voice of thanksgiving and praise.
May you experience joyful relief from your enemies. May you be amazed as you watch God's saving work take shape. May you know that He will listen and give you victory.
AMEN